my parents, that is.
pita has been waking up crying and screaming this week. multiple times a night. she has been asking us to fix her "blanks" (blankets) for her. she has three. they have to be perfect, and two will just not do. (I worry that she is a bit o.c.d, that's another story) we have been trying to show her how to do it herself, as to not have to wake to a full scream to get the job done and back to sleep. but she is convinced she needs mom or dad for the task. every time she does it, it makes my adrenaline rush and consequently, extremely hard to go back to sleep. I have a hard enough time convincing myself all will be well and safe in the world for me to get to sleep the first time, let alone few times, after waking up to my eldest crying out for "mommy! mommy, please!" I always start hearing noises and wondering just what is going bump in the night. sleepy chelsea is a paranoid chelsea.
last night, around five a.m. I heard it again. "mommy, please! mommy!" after waking up twice to this already, and having fed Rilla once in the night, for a total of three night time awakenings, the fourth time I was just perturbed. I went in pita's room, and jumped right in. "why are you crying again? just fix your blankets and go to sleep. I am not helping you. you are a big girl, show me how you do it." (guilt already seeping in my gut for going straight to tough mode) she grabbed her blankets and fixed them the best a two-nearly-three year old can. shakily smiled and said, "I did it!" the guilt had saturated and so I smiled and answered, "see? I knew you could do it." and kissed her cheek. having my face close by, she choked out,
"are there dragons and spiders in my room?"
in just the tiniest whisper. my guilt-saturated gut and heart just crumbled. so that was the true story. all this week, it wasn't blankets. she was just afraid. she invented a reason to get mommy and daddy to come reassure her in her room, whether she realized it or not. I could relate. I was that child in my family. always afraid, well into my child hood. I often slept in the floor in my parents room. (after seeing the movie "fire in the sky" I slept in their room several nights in a row. still can't watch that movie, but the images are burned into my brain) I can remember the terror very clearly. I have several memories of exiting my room, forcing my legs down the hall, and holding my breath and trying not to look at the big sliding glass door that led to our backyard. seeing into that dark abyss was horrifying. truly, horrifying. my parents always let me sleep on the floor. only now I realize how old that must have gotten, especially having nine children between them. after I convinced pita there was no spiders or dragons in her room (and praying no spiders would show up and make me a liar, since they are frequent visitors in our home) I went back to bed. I laid there, thinking about all those nights my parents let me sleep in there room. I thought about pita and her imagination getting the best of her. poor dear. I couldn't help muttering to jeff that we would probably be tired for at least the next 20 years. if it wasn't dragons and spiders, it would be boys and curfews.
oh mom and dad. I don't know how you did it. but, thank you. really, thank you.
7 comments:
I don'r know why that post made me choke up...funny! I think that is the cutest sweetest story and I love you when you were little my little nervous chelsea! I agree with dark windows though freaked me out too...I used to run past them so that the sniper that was definately waiting to shoot me wouldn't have a straight shot!
Hi, Chelsea. That's so funny. I miss you.
Love,
Sarah, your little sister.
Olivia wakes me up every night at least once too! The other night she woke me up every couple hours! Its so frustrating. If she really is scared or something I think I wouldn't mind waking up. But she just wants me to sing her a song or get her a drink. I keep threatening her that I going to put her back in a baby crib if she doesn't stop coming in my room. Last night I bribed her and said I would get her candy if she didn't wake me up and it worked! I can get that girl to do anything with candy.
oh, i love this story, probably because i can relate so well to it. ava's always making up excuses for her to get out of her bed. and i too, frequently find myself losing my patience and snapping at her.
one thing that seems to have worked at our house is letting her leave the door open about 6 inches. if she stays in her bed, it stays open, if she doesn't, i threaten to take away that privilege. she understands that it's far better to stay in bed than risk having her door closed all the way. as for the wee hours of the morning, she is always running into our room without us knowing and snuggling right in between us. we haven't figured out that battle 'cause we're just too tired at 3 or 4 am to fight it. besides, to be completely honest, we kinda like her little pajama'd limbs, warm body and messy hair sleeping and waking up right next to us.
whoa, that was a bit lengthy. sorry.
Chelsea...I can so relate and that is why TJ had his crib mattress in our room on the floor (by Tim's side of course) for about a year. Probably not the best thing to do but I needed the sleep. He actually did really well and he felt secure and we got sleep. He eventually came to me and said he was ready to move to his room!! (: We are all crammed upstairs because the downstairs is scary...haha!
i'm so glad you shared this story, as we're (i'm) battling the 3 am wake-up calls as well. i thought my kid was the only one who completely forgot that he knew how to sleep through the night. i need to grow some patience stat.
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