my daughter's imagination is strange and beautiful. while playing with her rock collection, she shows me this rock and says "look mom, it's a forget-nenots" (forget-me-nots).
I had a great day. i finally got the house almost entirely all clean at once, had a great work out, showered, had a good hair day and had friends over. it felt really great to call up a friend and say "hey, come on over tomorrow" with out a plan or pressure to have an activity or reason. she's awesome. her kids are awesome. (uh, no pressure laura)
tonight I was doing the dishes, thinking about a post about doing dishes from said friend, listening to some tunes on a mix-disc jessica gave me. petra was playing with her penny jar and rock collection jar, taking them in and out, in and out, and leaving me be. rilla was playing on the floor with a stuffed bunny petra named "toast." jeff had just left for scouts after a family dinner where we had said family prayer and read some scriptures. petra requested to hear the scripture again.
my heart was full. full.
and then I felt a twinge of grief.
moments so perfect that they almost make you sad, like nothing could ever be so perfect again*
sometimes I study petra's face and imagine what she will look like at 11. at 15. at 21. at 30. it feels like she changes just in that moment. fleeting, so fleeting.
upon further consideration, I will take my pleasure-pain grief-twinge heart-full moment and wish for a million more.
*chanel, do you know what this is from??
7 comments:
this is beautiful and true. I'm happy for you and that blissful day of yours. It's days like that that make you feel invincible, right up until the grief-twinge.
Honestly though, I don't think that day would be perfect without the grief. It would mean you didn't understand the need to be grateful for it while it's here.
oh.
you've said what i've felt, so so perfectly. i couldn't have written it out any better. just perfect.
here's to many more of those moments!
oh emm gee.. Gilmore Girls!! It's from Gilmore Girls! Right? I still have such a strong love for that show.
P.S. I LOVE that Petra has a rock collection.
chanel... yes! that episode where dean gives her the car? you win a prize...
I feel so special to be part of your day! i'm so glad that you called.
And I love Petra's imagination. She makes me smile. It will be fun to have her over tomorrow. See you then!
Woo! Would you be mad at me if I said I had to cheat?? haha. I just remembered that Petra means rock.. and now I love that she collects rocks even more. LOVE IT.
love.
now stop anticipating the next 30 years. it takes all of the peace and contentment out of today.
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