"what a mess that I make of my days...

then there's you, you're a mess to be made."

are hormones contagious? sometimes I think I am spreading them to my family. I have really been trying to separate my hormones from my actions this pregnancy. putting on a happy face, trying a lot of positive mental chants to try and subdue the anxiety and annoyance that abounds daily, trying not to take it all out on those around me, especially because 99.9% of my time is spent around the same two people (whom I love and want to love me, I remind myself) and that just wouldn't be fair, right? 

then there is this one. 

all cuteness and halos until you tell her the dress that she is wearing is just to borrow, not to take home. then she gets some borrowed mommy hormones and the TEARS just flow. I mean rivers of tears. bath-tubs of tears. giant, pea-sized (seriously), cartoon-like tears, and the sobs to match. she is just get wrenchingly working herself into a tizzy. forget the fact that she gets to keep the crown and the wand...

and that she got to hit the pinata...

and play in the royal castle...

and eat cake and ice cream from a castle-shaped cake on a princess plate, along with a myriad of other princess-themed fun things. you'd think she didn't just have to morning of her little life. poor thing. I really think I am just contagious. because of course as soon as I get her settled down enough, after a front-porch chat about being a happy girl, to head home with her arms full of goodies, her mother gets all teary-eyed and overwhelmed at the whole mess and embarrassment of it all, wondering for the trillionth time what kind of mother she is. forget that fact that she is two, forget the fact that I had a good time as well. forget the fact that probably every other child had at least one little fit to throw during the party too (maybe). oi vay.  I am such a mess some days. 

in other news, this week petra got to go to the imagine chidren's museum this week, which is pretty awesome. she got to be...

 a cowgirl

a restaurant chef

a vet

and an aqua-engineer. 

she loved every minute of it.

jeff had the whole week off, and today's hormonal after-party aside, it has been a very relaxing, rejuvenating week for me. we made it a point to do a couple fun things as a family, and jeff has been helping me out a lot with every thing I do during the week, but mostly with petra. (who woke up every morning asking if daddy was at work, then screeching ecstatically when I told her he was home again that day) it has been really nice to hang out, have fun, try not to worry so much, and enjoy our little threesome before we become a foursome. it has been a vacation from the daily loneliness and I loved it. thanks again babe.