jello hearts

it's really hot today. 85 in the house and we are all sticky messes. I decided that jello jigglers sounded amazing for some reason. cold and squishy. we whipped some up and stuck em in the fridge to set. somewhere in the back of my mind I remember we don't own any cookie cutters...

this afternoon, as they set, I drifted in an out of sleep on the couch. somewhere in the in-between, I hear it.

ashley is gone!

it was loud and sudden and it hurt. this happens sometimes, when I let my guard down. like I always do, I let my mind wander over the pain and the memories and think about her face for a minute. she is laughing. she had the best smile when she laughed. "I miss you Ashley." I whisper, like I always do.

after a minute I got up and we checked the jigglers. done!

I looked in the drawer and hey, cookie cutters. a tiny heart and a gingerbread man. they had been ashley's. I forgot that I had brought them home with me. they were in her sink with crumbs on them when we cleaned her place. she must have used them not too long ago. I remember wondering who she had made cookies for.

we used these two cookie cutters and made some lovely jello shapes. it made me feel better to touch her things, to think about her making cookies, using these two perfectly sweet shapes. I watched the girls have fun making them.

I have a few of her things around, I use them frequently. "thanks, ash." I whisper, like I always do.