february 26th

chelsea, ashley, karl

Dear Ashley,

        Happy Birthday, sister dear. Every day I miss you. Today, it is a lump in my throat and a stone in my chest. I wish I could call you, text you, hug you. Instead, I write to you, and hope you know it. It has been a year since I last heard your voice. Every day I try to hear you in my mind. I am afraid time will take my memory of your voice. I review the details of your sound to etch it deep into my memory. I know you live, sister, but I feel the need to have evidence of you for my mortal self. I often close my eyes and picture your face and how you sat and how you twirled you hair. I don't think, though, that I will ever forget your laugh. How it sounded, how it looked. I felt closest to you when we laughed together. As your little sister I really loved to have inside jokes with my older sister. I hope you have heard all those jokes I have been making for you this past year. That is what I miss the most, and what I refuse to lose. I will still crack jokes that I think you would laugh at, and still believe that we are sharing a moment together. Someday we will meet up again, and we will still have a lifetime of inside jokes. Deal?

        This picture makes me laugh, because it is so typical, isn't it? Me, trying to crowd my way into the action. I love the look on your face, you look blissful! And isn't that cake so pretty? You must have got your baking skills from Mama. 

        I miss you so much, Ash. I love you. I am blessed to have you as my older sister, and I will never stop needing you. 

        Happy Birthday. I love you!


                                                                                               Your sister, 
                                                                                                            Chelsea