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| kind of looks like a bunch of birds are sitting in the tree. (it's not) |
I am stalled.
I have been avoiding a few things. Thinking them over and telling myself I just want to give them some good thought first. They are not big things, on the outside. But they could be big, for me. I am just afraid to fail. I am as afraid to fail as I am afraid to want to succeed.
The older I get, the more I realize my shortcomings. Whether it is that I actually have more shortcomings, or that I just see more clearly what they are, I don't know. I only know that for every one thing I accept or better about myself, I see two more opportunities for improvement. I feel like the real work has just begun.
But I am so deeply grateful for my mind. my mind that can reason things out, that can ponder. Even if it is on ways to improve on my faults. Eternal progression is essential the Plan. That, in and of itself, gives me reason for lasting happiness.
2 comments:
i hope this comment will make sense. your posts make me think we are similar and then your last paragraph brought this to my mind.
i am constantly thinking. constantly. about my shortcomings, about other peoples accomplishments, about school, about work, about everything. sometimes i wish i could turn it all off. i see people who are so simple, not self-aware but so happy. but then i'm so glad for a mind that ponders.
oh man. if that makes sense we really are similar. if not you can call me crazy.
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